Assalam Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu
I'm feeling the pain of losing Asma more and more....especially when I don't try to block the feelings I'm having. It's horrible. Sometimes I think why is it that such a sweet person who had such innocence and kindness had to leave this world when evil people such as Bush, Sharon, and all the oppressors are still alive (and they're at a respectable age). But I know Allaah Subhana Wa Ta'ala does what is best for us and doesn't give us more then we can handle. Also, I know that the people with the hardest trials were the prophets then the righteous believers. As I am typing this, I have a lump in my throat that is actually hurting. I always get this when I want to break down and sob, but I hold it in. Sometimes, I even talk with Asma. I'm not going crazy or anything....it's just that I feel better once I tell her everything that's going on and du'aa that she gets this message. Whether she recieves it or not is Allaah's choice. My iman went up so high after Asma passed away, but a month or two after I just stopped praying for weeks on end. That was such a filthy feeling and then I started praying again, Alhumdulillah. I don't know what happened to me then, but Insha'Allaah I will never go there again. I hope no one else has to go through the phase of not praying either because now that I think about it, I don't know what sort of a human I was. Astaghfurillah. May Allaah Subhana Wa Ta'ala strengthen my iman (and everybody else's) every single day. And may he forgive me for my sins. Ameen.
I keep thinking of this sister who sent Asma gifts. I don't think this sister knows how happy Asma got whenever she got gifts. Asma knew that she had a family that loved her, Alhumdulillah, but she still felt happy when others showed it to her. When I was telling Asma one day that many brothers and sisters online were making du'aa for her. Then she happily told me that there were a lot of people from around the world who were also doing the same. She became very popular, Masha'Allah, whether she talked to those people or not. May Allaah Subhana Wa Ta'ala reward this sister for her kindness. Ameen. I think of this sister when I think of Asma because of her kindess towards Asma. The sister cannot talk to me any longer, because of personal reasons. I love this sister with all my heart for the sake of Allaah Subhana Wa Ta'ala and Insha'Allaah we will be united in Jannat Al Firdaus. Ameen.
My family and I suspect that Asma died because of the evil eye. There is a hadeeth that 1/3 of the people die due to the evil eye. I've been trying to find that hadeeth, but I can't. So Insha'Allaah once I find it I'll post in here. May Allaah Subhana Wa Ta'ala let us have our revenge on the person or whatever it was that harmed Asma (if there was something). Ameen. Allaahu Alam.
I think that I'll, Insha'Allaah, talk about Asma & her death later on. This is sort of becoming a diary for me....I like it because I type pretty fast Alhumdulillah.
Assalam Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu
